Today, as I sat in the queue at a red light, I observed a behavior I have observed so many times before … ooching.

Cars pull up into the queue and stop behind the car in front. Then, after a while, a driver will decide that maybe he stopped too far back. He ooches forward.

This ooching does two things. First, it creates a bigger gap behind that car. And second, by its motion, it calls attention to that gap.

The car behind them then ooches forward to make up the increased gap and perhaps a bit more.

This ripple continues down the queue.

In the meantime, a car in front of the original oocher has also ooched, creating a second ooch ripple which moves down the queue.

Also, drivers who ooched will decide they didn’t ooch enough. This will create a second ooch and another ooch ripple.

Yet none of this ooching has any impact on the light changing, nor any measurable impact on actually getting through the light or to the destination. As the light turns green and the queue begins to move, all of the ooched-up space must be slowly expanded back to driving distance.

Me? I don’t ooch. Don’t get me wrong, if someone makes a right turn and opens up a whole car length I’ll move forward. But ooching out of impatience or to close an ooch-gap seems like a waste of effort and meaningless wear and tear on my brakes.

But don’t try to convince the guy behind me who now perceives an oochable gap in front of me and is just about to wet his pants because I won’t ooch so he can ooch.